The same dynamic happens when it comes to thug culture and young black males. In the past, gay friends who want nothing to do with this kind of thing have told me there’s intense pressure within the gay male community not to criticize it, at the expense of being labeled “self-hating,” or some sort of Uncle Tom. If you read this and make a negative judgment on this guy and the culture that celebrates his kink, then you are some sort of bigot. What I don’t get is why it is only permissible within our media culture to observe things like this guy’s celebration of the rest-stop liberty if you find it something worth celebrating, or at least morally neutral. But this was presented in the guidebook as if it were a normal thing for the gay male traveler (but not, of course, lesbians) to want to know about a city. But it also included information about the best places for men to go to have anonymous sex in public. It included listings for gay bars, gay-friendly hotels, gay-friendly restaurants and attractions. Years ago, a gay friend showed me a copy of a popular gay travel guide. We were just there, together, as ourselves.
![gay men cruising rest stops gay men cruising rest stops](https://media.timeout.com/images/100517879/750/422/image.jpg)
There was no wondering if someone was straight or gay there was no sexual orientation at all. There was no pretense, no awkward conversation or dancing around whether or not I should be attracted to somebody.
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Not that I gave my full self, but that the part of myself I did give was complete. The writer celebrates having sex in the bushes and public bathrooms as an existential act:Īfter awhile I began to develop a strange feeling at rest areas, like I was giving myself to someone. Sex at the rest area, instead, abolishes identity there’s a sort of freedom there to not be anything – instead, men just meet other men there men who want the same sort of freedom. They’re for gay men who want to have gay sex.
#Gay men cruising rest stops how to#
For the man who is unsure of his sexuality, or unsure of how to tell others about it, for the man who has a family but feels new desires (or old, hidden ones) unfolding inside of him, the website and the phone apps are just too certain of themselves. The new ways that men meet - endlessly staring into phones, searching on hookup apps like Grindr or sites like Manhunt - haven’t changed the fact that we’re still having sex at rest areas, because they offer something different. This has been going on for a long, long time. Have you ever stopped at a rest area and found it completely empty? There’s always one man there, in his car, waiting to meet someone new.
![gay men cruising rest stops gay men cruising rest stops](https://pinupmagazine.org/content/2-articles/278-essay-cruising-pavilion-gay-sex-public-space-michael-bullock/cruising-pavilion-venice-10-studio-karhard-boiler-club-extension-2015-plan-by-studio-karhard-photos-by-stefan-wolf-courtesy-of-the-architects-louis-de-belle-pinup-magazine.jpg)
In the winter, men trudge through snow to be with each other, in the summer, men leave the woods with ticks clinging to their legs. I’m one of those men, I’ve done it a hundred times we go into the woods or a truck with tinted windows, in a stall under cold light. If you’ve ever pulled over to a rest area, you’ve been near men having sex. If you have a negative or even somewhat critical view of gay male culture, you are not entitled to notice things like this Salon article.
![gay men cruising rest stops gay men cruising rest stops](https://images.theconversation.com/files/384025/original/file-20210212-15-pa95nu.jpg)
As we are all told, it is wrong, wrong, wrong to stereotype gay men as sexually insatiable and indiscriminate.